The Paperclip, again

-Once again-

Clippit’s words of wisdom!

I should have a blog page dedicated to this paperclip! I seem to be writing about him very often. It seems that the rip-off tip I got stating “this is the last tip” was a hint that the never-ending list of start-up tips was about to start over.

Today’s tip: “You can hurt yourself if you run with scissors.”

I beg to differ, O sentient paperclip. Though there seems to be a current social stigma against running with scissors, sponsoring a plethora of punk t-shirts, stickers, etc, one can carry scissors while running a marathon without hurting themselves. The danger of scissors is not inherent to the fact that they are meant to cut paper and not be one’s running companions, but to an incredible social misuse of the human process of thought in which one generally fails to rationalize the situation involving scissors, another situation involving running, and yet another situation involving danger and injury.

Indeed, the great problem with scissors is that when one falls on them, one will most likely injure ones self. The greater the velocity that one travels at when falling also makes a difference in the overall damage and severity of the wound. Therefore, Clippit is misleading us, just as he is being misled, by those idiotic, un-thinkers with a bad sense of humor way up in the corporate mess of the Microsoft Corporation.